


An illusion shattered

by mustlovecats2



Series: An illusion shattered [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Kryptonite, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Poor Kara Danvers, Pre Supercorp in my head but you'll have to squint really hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 17:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20029249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mustlovecats2/pseuds/mustlovecats2
Summary: "What the hell are you doing?!!"Lena scoffed and lifted an eyebrow "What? I'm not allowed to be angry? You lied to me!"Or another one were Lena doesn't handle the supergirl reveal very well





	An illusion shattered

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone,  
I saw the trailer for season five, heard Lena say she wanted to hurt supergirl, saw Kara in kryptonite induced agony and jumped to conclusions.  
Since then the characters have been screaming at each other in my head almost non stop. So I have written a short one shot about where I am hoping like hell the show itself isn't going. Sorry.
> 
> There is hope in the ending i think, but it is certainly not a happy ending, you have been warned.
> 
> Other warning, this is my first fic, English is not my first language and I have no beta. So mistakes are bound to be all over this thing.
> 
> Disclaimer, I don't own any of the characters 
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy! (Or something)

"What the hell are you doing?!!"

Lena cocked her head. For some reason she hadn't expected anger. Even after learning that Kara was supergirl, that she had been lying for years, that their friendship was never real, she had subconsciously expected a Kara reaction, not a supergirl one. Apparently she was still wired to believe in a person that didn't exist. Curious how the brain works. She half expected the pain to come back at the revelation, but thankfully there was still only the satisfaction of seeing the kryptionian bitch on her knees, green lines and agony on her face. 

The first few days after Lex showed her the truth had been pure hell. The pain of realising she was all alone, had been alone all along almost crippling. But she had soldiered on, adjusted to this new world without friends or relationships, shoving her feelings in boxes until she was blissfully numb except for the need for revenge. 

Lena had resisted the urge at first. Determined to put all her energie in leading L-Corp in the right direction. But the anger kept distracting her and since no one trusted her anyway, why not indulge? She was a Luther after all and it wasn't like she was going to do permanent damage to the alien, she just wanted to hurt her like she had hurt Lena. 

So she had acted as normal as possible with her so called friends so no one would get suspicious while she got everything for her plan in order and then lured Kara, no supergirl in disguise, to the roof of the L-Corp building. The choice of location partly so that they wouldn't be interrupted, but mainly for dramatic effect. Hair would be wipping around in the wind and all that. Lex would be so proud.

At first the alien seemed fearful, all the blood had drained from her face when Lena revealed Lex's dying words. She had started to grovel "Lena please I can explain.."  
All very Kara. But Lena didn't want to wait any longer with her plan. Supergirl could try tel her nonsense after she had opened the box.

So here they were, Lena holding kryptonite and the alien before her, one knee and one fist on the ground, staring at her with anger and that irritating endless self righteousness. Supergirl in Kara's clothes. An illusion shattered. 

Lena scoffed and lifted an eyebrow "What? I'm not allowed to be angry? You lied to me!"

Her answering question seemed to anger supergirl even more. She drew herself back up and even took a step towards her. Lena was a little impressed, she had to admit. Still, what did the superhero plan to do? Fight her? If she came any closer she would be on her knees again due to the proximity of the crystals. So the brunette just waited with a condescending smile, there was nothing supergirl could do to her.

"Yes I lied to you! At first because I have a SECRET identity! Immediately telling everyone I meet would be a little counter productive, sorry!"

"You don't sound very sorry"

Supergirl didn't react to her quip, just went on yelling. 

"Then it was because my friends didn't trust you, the DEO didn't trust you and they forbade me to tell you. I should have gone behind their backs you say?  
Let me tell you, my identity is secret for a reason, not just to keep me safe, but to keep my friends and family safe, because if anyone wanted to hurt supergirl and they knew to go after Kara Danvers' friends?.."

Lena saw a little shudder tear trough the alien at the idea. She was so good at acting human.

"Yes I trusted you and you might be my best friend, but your not my only friend, Lena! I love and respect them too and in their eyes I would have been playing Russian roulette with their lives by telling you. I couldn't do that. I was waiting for them to come around, to see you like I did"

Supergirl deflated I little, twisted her hands, bowed her head and continued at a more normal volume.

"After that I fucked up. I lost my faith in you for a bit, alienated you as supergirl"

'Pun intended?' Lena thought, but she didn't voice it out loud. A sliver of unease was building inside her, a question forming in the back of her mind.

"I was scared to lose you as my friend then, so I thought it would be better to patch up my relationship with you as supergirl first before I told you. And when we were on the mend I knew it was time to tell you. But I was a coward. Not because I didn't trust you. Yes I thought you'd be angry and I dreaded the fight. But I thought you'd come around eventually. I never thought you'd lose it completely. You were my friend, I was dreading hurting you, not handling potentially dangerous Lena Luther! I cared about you and I didn't want to hurt you when you were already going trough so much. Every time I had the choice between being the supportive friend, comforting you or dropping another bombshell on you I chickened out. Even though I knew it would hurt you much more later on.  
It did.  
And I am so sorry about that." 

A hickup.

"So sorry!..  
So you are allowed to be angry, you are allowed to be bloody pissed at me for being a gigantic idiot!"

The volume had picked up again, but the anger didn't seem solely aimed at Lena anymore. The question was now at the forefront of her mind and Lena felt frozen between the two possible answers. 

"You were allowed to yell at me or shut me out if you needed space. Hell I would even have let you punch the light out of me!  
But you didn't trust me enough to confront me did you. Never gave me a chance to explain. No you just took Lex's word for it that I was never really your friend. Never mind al the times I stood up for you, saved your live, comforted you, confided in you! Never mind al the fun times, lunches, game nights and Christmas party's. That must all have been a joke right? Cause your very trustworthy brother told you so?"

The answer to the question was now glaringly obvious. Yes, Lena had been dead wrong. But Kara wasn't quite finished yet.

"What you were not allowed to do was pretend that everything was fine between us for weeks! Lying to my face, not in a misguided attempt to spare my feelings, but to make sure you could blindside me and inflict maximum hurt when you felt you were ready for your revenge. What was the wait about anyway? You wanted to serve it cold?"

"I was out of kryptonite, had to make it first" Lena mumbled.

The look of betrayal intensified at that.

"So this really was cold and premeditated. Not a spur of the moment anger thing. You willingly made the one thing that hurts me more than anything, that you know gives me nightmares and you intended to use it on me all this time. What was the plan Lena, how were you going to end this, push me over the edge when I was weak enough? Is that why we're on your roof?"

Shock was taking Lena's ability to form words, of course she would never try to kill her friend. The difference between just hurting her and doing something like that had seemed such a clear line earlier. Now, with the way Kara was looking at her, 'of course not' seemed to be the wrong reaction, so she just shook her head.  
'Tel me I can still fix this' she thought. 'Tel me what you always do, that you know me, that you have faith in me, that I am better then this'

"You were my best friend Lena, you weren't allowed to just stop caring about me!"

Tears were leaking over the green veins now

"I thought I meant more to you than this"

Kara seemed to have run out of steam and just stood there, shoulders slummed. The utter defeat on Kara's face tore Lena's boxes to shreds. Feelings tumbled over each other and in the chaos the leaden box tumbled out of her hands. Kara's scream finally spured Lena to action and she scrambled to get the crystals away from her fallen friend, into the box. She closed the lid and curled herself around the damned thing. She felt like falling apart, but she had to let Kara know first, her darling Kara. 

She look up, caught her eyes and forced the words to come. She owed her that much.  
More really, but at least this she would manage..

"Kara, I'm sorry"


End file.
